suddenly got the urge to change my url .

seriously i f* sad now , i dream of those super bad memorise during chritmas day. what a wonderful gift. it's like the times when i slashed myself , i cried outside GO some misunderstood with my friends , gosh the all flashed in picture. it's kinda like a video like that. & when i woke up , i'm super sad.i try to hold back my tears but i just can't. it just come like a tidal wave. gosh!

sometimes , i ask myself what am i waiting for ? i seriously dunnoe. i seem to be a loser in term of relationship. seeing my friends having a hard time when it comes to relationship really makes me damn scare. when people said they'll wait for you , does they really mean they WILL wait for you. or are they just saying for the sake of saying. it seem like when guys say i'll wait for you , i'll perserver , wait for me . it's all crap. & when a guy said that you're their one and only , are you really their one and only?

i know that person won't be seeing my blog ,maybe yes, but i just go the urge to type it out. so what if i say what's the use? does it makes a different to you ? NO! but if you were to tell other does it makes a different to me , yes!

i'm sorry to everyone out there but i just find it hard to trust someone. cause it seems like promises are really mend to be break . so how on earth could you expect me to trust anyone. i feel bad keeping all those thing , cause i know one day i'll just cant make it and break down . but what to do , i donn wanna be hurt by people who says your secret out. i felt that the distance between me and my friend is further and further. but i really don't know what to do.