just when i thought i had let bygones be bygones , i realised i didn't.

I just couldn't seem to let everything go as how it should had been. there's many " If only " that i just couldn't stop thinking about & my mind couldn't seem to settle down. i've lost the strong burning passion for ballet. i'm afraid to see disappointed faces and most of all i'm afraid of the pressure just like the way it is now. I'm scared that my effort will be washed away like how it did last year. i knew very clearly what i could have done ,what i could have achieve and what i could have bring back. But it's all washed away by the words of people.

Even so , i know i'm not going to give up so easily,
i'm going to search for that fire ,
that fire that gave me warm that i need ,
hope when i'm lost ,
& the strength to endure.

some said it's part of the passion cycle , is it true? hmm..

so many things to say yet they just unable to .